Saying “It is what it is” is not a cop out to some incident relieving you of any responsibility or excuse for no action what so ever. It is not a way for you to wash your hands clean and an excuse to give up. It is not permission for you to do what ever you want and think there are no repercussions.

“It is what it is” is actually a way for you to give pause to the situation and a chance to step back and regroup. Let's look at an example for some perspective. You are driving down the road and by no fault of your own you get into a minor fender bender. No one is hurt but the cars are crumpled a bit. In this day and age everyone is quick to jump out of their cars and start forcing blame on the other person.

They didn't signal, they were going too fast, they stopped fast, they were following too close and the excuses go on. Often times things will get a little heated as the blame is pushed back and forth. The police show up and take statements as fiery looks are shot back and forth between the two drivers. Each tries their hardest to push the blame on the other driver and convince the officer to see their way.

So what happened? You both are upset and angry and carry that with you the rest of the day. In some cases you might carry that with you the rest of the week, until your car gets fixed or if it goes to trial of any kind. Has it accomplished anything? Oh it raised your blood pressure, put some fire and excitement in your life and sure gave you a nice story to tell to your friends and family. But did it really accomplish anything? Not really.

So let's try it this way with the same scenario. You get out of your car and survey the damage. The other driver gets out of theirs with fire in their eyes. You on the other hand have the “It is what it is” attitude. You aren't flippant or anything but you realize what happened happened and you can't go back and do it over. So it is what it is. You are calm and collected. You got in an accident and now you have to deal with the next steps. You have to focus on what comes next not dwell on what happened. You being calm will have a tendency to calm the other person as well. When the police arrive they have two calm people and are more likely to get the truth of what happened and not an exaggeration of the facts or even lies.

So what did you accomplish this time? Your blood pressure stayed low, you got an accurate police report, you already worked through in your head what your next steps are going to be to get the car fixed. The incident isn't taking away from your productivity at work because you aren't dwelling on it. It's not taking away from your family and friends time because you aren't going off every 5 minutes and telling the same story over and over each time embellishing it a little more.

It is what it is. You had an accident and you have your road map laid out to get the car fixed. That is really what the statement allows you to do. To step back and regroup and have a clearer look at your options. This can apply to so many things in your life and not just the critical things like a car accident.

You are single and seeing someone. You spend a lot of time together and things are getting pretty serious. Suddenly something changes and the other person breaks it off. Do you really want to be depressed all the time? Do you really want to isolate yourself from other people? Sure, it hurts to break up. There's no denying it. However if you say to yourself that it is what it is you will be so much farther ahead.

They broke up with you. You obviously have something of interest or they wouldn't have been with you in the first place. It is what it is. You know what you have to offer and as they so often say there are a lot more fish in the sea. This is a big world and there is someone out there for you. If you spend all your time being depressed and dwelling on that other person then you could very likely be missing a person that is your perfect match.

It is what it is. Life is funny. You are born and grow. Life throws some interesting curve balls at you and you deal with them and then you die at an old age. It is what it is. If you dwell on the curve balls you will miss a lot in your life. I don't know about you but I hate stress. I hate being held back from things. If I dwell on the curve balls I miss out on life.

My wife often times thinks I am flippant or uncaring about situations that come up. I'm not. I am concerned about things but I also realize that once something happens there isn't too much I can do about the incident it self. It is what it is and all I can do is adjust and figure out the best path to deal with it and move on. The only thing I am doing if I keep going back to it is holding myself back. It is what it is. It happened and I can't go back and undo it so I focus on what to do next. So I have a small detour from my target. It is what it is. Plot a new course and move forward.

Do you get it? If you want to move forward in your life and reach the goals you have set or make the dreams you have a reality then you can't focus on the incident it self. You have to be able to move past the actual incident and figure out what to do next. “It is what it is” gives you the permission to do that. Don't focus on the incident focus on what comes next. Good or bad – It is what it is.